Monday, January 10, 2005
i am still sick. sigh. didnt have the mood to go out. stayed at home. i am having a fever rite now. 38.6 degrees. i feel like dying.
tat bitch made me really angry yesterday. i shouted 'fuck you' and that stupid her actually replied me with 'fuck you back'. i duno whether to laugh or wat. i mean... reply me with beta stuffs. sounds like she never scold pple before. but well, i hate her i hate her i hate her!!!!!!!!!
i was kind of pissed off by kumar and deon on fri nite while chatting. they told me to be serious. okie. i admit that i have never been serious at anything. maybe i've always been escaping from reality. i think i should just stay at home and not meet anyone. no one really knows me. no one knows wat i need. no one at all...
maybe i shouldnt come back to singapore. yes. i made the first mistake in 2005. i should have remained in hongkong.
why is it so hard to have a person who really cares to be right beside me without talking much, without asking me any questions, just to be a companion? pple out there may think that they know me very well. but do u guys know that the real me doesnt like to talk, isnt that happy-go-lucky person, isnt the one who crack jokes with u guys, isnt that chubby happy looking girl?
i want to be alone. a peaceful place where nothing disturbs me.
i wanted so much go out with zhongkai today. but i know if he sees me like that, he will keep asking me what's wrong with me. so in the end i decided to lock myself in my room. i am sorry kai.
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