Wednesday, April 06, 2005
why make me so interested in the degree and end up dashing it instantly.
why make me want to start school like immediately only to realize u are so afraid that i will never get the degree and waste ur money.
why make me want to take up piano again and finish my grade8 when in the end u dont allow me to sign up for lessons.
why make me so interested in giving piano lessons to kids but dash my hopes in the end again.
why make me interested in these the 1st place.
since that very moment that sentence came outta her mouth, i'd decided...
I DONT NEED A BLARDY DEGREE!
I DONT NEED HER TO BE ANYWHERE CLOSE TO ME CONTINUING WITH HER NEVER-ENDING DISCOURAGEMENT!
I DONT NEED HER TO SUPPORT ME!
I DONT WANT HER BLARDY MONEY!
of coz i am crying. i want to study.
but i need encouragements more than anyone else in the world.
i am really willing to give up my possible future with a BBA to earn enough money to buy an air ticket back to hk myself.
lowest minimum pay in HK-Disneyland is HK$9000. and mind u, this is minimum pay. i speak canto, mandarin, eng. i dont mind working there where it's gonna be fun. something that i will enjoy for sure.
since things turned out this way, I GIVE UP ON MY OWN FUTURE.
i am sure i can earn enough money myself and den take my degree with my OWN money.
what's the fucking deal with being rich? and what's the fucking problem with being poor?
i wonder... what am i doing in this family.
i feel so outta place.
i gonna leave as far as possible.
will anyone understand me? i doubt so. maybe try imagining ur parents who keep saying u are wasting their money by putting u through uni. to me, it's not just imagination. she is lidat.
i need to talk to daddy. i dont want to study anymore.
i am getting outta the hse 1st thing when i wake up.
life hasnt been good for me. not for the past 19... coming 20 years at least.
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