Wednesday, September 21, 2005
i am vey tired. i know i did nothing. no studying and all. but... i have been feeling very tired and lethargic since last week. i have no idea why. i have lotsa readings to catch up with. not to forget my research papers, tutorial and all...
boyfriend came over to study with me yesterday. i didnt study much becoz i just couldnt stand the mess at my study area. so i took my mop and started cleaning up. it's so much tidier now. smiles. aftertat wanted to make clam chowder with spaghetti, but i forgot to buy milk. ended up eating instant meepok.
my parents seem so encouraging and all for my studies. but when it comes to asking them to help me do a serious interview for my profile writing, daddy simply just treat it as a joke and asked my english-illiterate uncle to do it. i mean... wat the fuck rite? (sorry boyfriend) how am i supposed to do my profile when i dont even have a decent interview? boyfriend and i were laughing at the IRRELEVANT answers given to me. yes i was laughing, but i was damn pissed inside me. boyfriend, that explained why i cried when u wanted to leave. i have no idea how to write my profile. i always think that parents are supportive. now i know... all they want is just the end result. they do not care about the process as to how u get it, u must get it and a BIG FAT FULLSTOPPPPP.
this is my family. not supportive but act very supportive. tell them about my good results, they will be happie as ever. tell them about my bad results, they will nag & occasional scoldings. when i need their help, i will never get them which will lead to my bad results. contradicting huh? yes i know i shouldnt blame them just becoz i have no topic to write for my profile. but... cant they at least help me when i am already feeling so desperate? sigh... i feel so lack of family love suddenly. no one really cares about me anyway.
everything has changed...
time to start on the long dreaded profile.
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